


Just Tell Me It's Not The End

by c_castro



Category: AKB48, AKB48 & Related Fandoms
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Drama & Romance, F/F, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-11
Updated: 2015-12-05
Packaged: 2018-04-25 22:27:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4978945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/c_castro/pseuds/c_castro
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For Yuko - she believes that Haruna wrote her a break up letter and didn't show up at their wedding.<br/>For Haruna - she believes that Yuko forgot about her and didn't care enough to even visit her at the hospital when she was in coma.<br/>For both of them meeting 6 years later is not an easy thing to do. But maybe its time to find out the truth behind everything?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

 

**Part 1**

  
The airport is almost empty at 4 am in the morning. That’s how I prefer it because it leaves a lot of time to gather my thoughts. My thoughts that has been scattered since two days ago after Micchan’s call. You’re getting married. I guess for real this time… no more complications. No one getting in between.  
  
I still remember waking up in a hospital bed with no one around. Just an empty room and all I could hear was my beating heart. The last thing I remembered was rushing to our ceremony. I was so happy and so in love. I always believed you felt the same. I put my trust in you. But I woke up alone. Next day visitors kept coming in and checking on my condition but none of them was you.  
  
Micchan told me that you left the country two days after our marriage ceremony. Our wedding. A wedding that didn’t happen because I got in an accident.  
  
I didn’t want to believe that you just left me and search for you. Asking friends, relatives, even your parents where you could be. No one told me that. Either they didn’t know or they didn’t want to tell me.  
  
I guess that’s something I could have expected from your parents. They have never liked me. Surprisingly, the reason wasn’t the fact that I am a girl. They have always wished that you could marry your childhood friend Acchan but I got in the way. That’s something they never forgave me for.  
  
I knew that you were back in Tokyo for some time now. Only after learning that you came back to get married…in the same place where we were suppose to share our vows and promise to be together I couldn’t just sit and wait.  
  
I have no intention of interrupting your marriage. Despite everything I wish you happiness. I just want to know why…why haven’t you stayed by my side? Why you went away? Why you didn’t care?  
  
I notice someone waving at me from across the airport. I told Micchan I don’t need escort from the airport but she still came.  
  
“Kojiharu! Finally! I haven’t seen you in ages!” the girl literally jumped on me and it was a miracle that I managed to stand my ground.  
  
“Let’s go see the city! No no… let’s go to our favorite places first…no wait… maybe we could eat somewhere first! Oh…I have so much on my mind! You probably forgot how Tokyo looks! Let’s me show you everything!”  
  
I laughed shortly “breathe…” and after that added more seriously “I need to take care of…something first…and then we can do all you like… I plan on staying for at least couple of weeks”.  
  
“Take care of something…you mean?”  
  
“Yes…I need to know why… just a simple question… I think its better to ask no rather then regretting it for the rest of my life. I need to know… maybe then I can move on”.  
  
“You should have moved on long time ago! Wait how much time passed? About six years, right? You should have moved on at least five years ago… no wait you were still in a coma at that time… well at least four years ago!”  
  
We headed out of the airport and I liked the support of Micchan so kept on smiling. The girl kept on rambling about my moving on while I got lost in my mind again. How long it take Yucchan to move on? I shouldn’t call her that anymore…just Yuko… how long it take for her?  
  
Her parents weren’t good actors and I could see that they were happy that we’re through when I tried searching for Yuko and asked them where she could be. They were overjoyed. I wouldn’t be surprised if the one that’s Yuko is getting married to is Acchan. That would be their preference, after all. Wait… maybe Micchan knows about this as well. After all, she somehow found out about the wedding.  
  
“Eh…Micchan? Who’s Yuko getting married to?”  
  
My friend scowled at me “I keep telling you that you should move on and forget about her and you asked me this out of the blue? Were you even listening to what I am saying? Of course not… who am I fooling her… who knows…some guy… Henry, Harry, Harvey? I don’t remember his name but no one that we know of. I wouldn’t be surprised if the marriage is calculated as it would be beneficial for both of their companies… but Yuko parents approve of him if that’s what you’re curious about”.  
  
“Of course they do”, I sigh defeated “anyone is better than me… but wait… why not Atsuko? I remember how her parents always said that they would be the happiest if Atsuko were in my place instead… so Yuko like guys now as well? I remember her saying that I’m the only she sees”.  
  
I realize that I said this bitterly but my mind is still clouded for all the information. I’m allowed to be angry. I have noticed that Micchan avoided my eyes from some time. But with my intense staring I won her over.  
  
“Acchan was the one who told me about the wedding because she’s the bridesmaid… just like in your wedding… well if you had married… you know I haven’t kept in touch with them and we start communicating only recently. The girls don’t even know that I told you about it…”  
  
Minami squinted her eyes with a thought in her mind but then just waved her hand dismissively “I don’t even know what’s on their minds because they haven’t asked about you even once… I wish I could have come to the church that day so I would have at least seen what was happening there while you were in the hospital…”  
  
“Oh…but Atsuko is actually taken. She got together with Takamina four years ago. I guess only Yuko parents wished for them to be a thing”.  
  
“I see…” it hurt knowing that Yuko never asked about me. Not even once. Did I meant so little to you?  
  
“Do you know where I can find her?”  
  
“Who? Acchan?”  
  
“Takamina… I haven’t talked with her for years…but I think she would tell me where I can find Yuko. We were good friends some time ago…also she should understand my reasons”.  
  
Micchan seemed doubtful about it. “You know she changed a little…well she’s running after Atsuko like she’s a god now. Maybe I should ask… I will say that I can’t find Yuko but I need to give her something… I can think of something. If you do that… she might just call Yuko herself and tell her that you’re back.”  
  
Giving a second thought that was way better option so I had to agree. Ten minutes later we were sitting in the backseat of taxi and Micchan was calling Takamina. Just like she guessed she got the answer quite immediately though even I could hear Takamina’s discontent. I looked at the clock. 5 am. We should have probably discussed the time for the call.  
  
Micchan told me that when Minami talked with Yuko last time she mentioned that she plans on spending her Sunday at home so I had more than enough time to get a shower and get ready for the talk.  
  


* * *

  
  
I stood in front of Yuko’s apartment around 9 am. I knew that she might be sleepy because she have always used her free days for extra sleep. Her logic told her that this way she gets all the hours of sleep that’s necessary for humans thought obviously all the articles on the internet told otherwise.  
  
With trembling hand I knocked on the door and stood there waiting. I noticed that she doesn’t have peephole on her doors. That’s an advantage as she might just ignore me and leave me standing here. That’s not Yuko’s still… but she wasn’t there when I needed her the most. Why I am still making excuses for her?  
  
I waited for about two minutes and knocked again. I counted the numbers in my mind to know how much time passed. That’s how pathetic I was.  
  
The door on full swing caught me off guard. Now I realized the reason it took Yuko some time because she stood there just in her towel, clutching the towel with one hand. Her hair was still wet and some drops of water were falling on the her shoulders and floor.  
  
“What do you want?” Yuko asked before seeing who’s behind the door. The second her eyes met with me she unconsciously gasped and before I could open my mouth shut the door in front of me.  
  
I think I heard some voices inside the apartment but I couldn’t be sure. During these few seconds I only managed to see her face. The same face that I remembered and still dreamed about every night… It finally hit me how much I actually missed her.  
  
I was about to knock again not ready to give up but before I could do that Yuko opened the doors again. This time I managed to form a faint smile and said short “hello” while waiting some reaction from the shorter girl.  
  
It took her few more seconds to speak up “what do you want?” she repeated the question a bit annoyed but I could see curiuosity behind those eyes too. Some time ago… I knew you them so well… could they lie to me? They never did before.  
  
“Can I… come in? Can you talk?” I asked politely not sure how to start this conversation. I feel that Yuko is the one who should give me explanation but for some reason standing right in front of me I feel petrified and can’t start demanding things. That’s not how I planned to have this conversation in my mind.  
  
Believe me I imagined this scene so many times. How I would speak my mind and made her listen. How I demand to explain Yuko her reasons… how she apologized and we got back together… of course… that was only a dream.  
  
“If you’re busy with someone else I can meet you any other day”, I added bitterly remembering the voices from inside the apartment.  
  
I expected her to agree to this term but instead Yuko stood aside and let me in “that’s just my tv”, she commented simply while closing the door and rushing to the other room to turn it off. When she got back to the room all I could hear was silence.  
  
She looked at me expectantly. So yeah… I’m the one who needs to speak. Fine. I can speak. I have a lot to say.  
I opened my mouth but nothing came up. I just stood there staring at her. Her figure that looked just I remember, her brown eyes that always betrayed her little lies, her lips who shared the most beautiful smiles with me, the same lips that I couldn’t stop kissing and never got tired of.  
  
I don’t think I was in my right mind when I stepped closer to her, cupping Yuko’s cheeks and capturing her lips. I have expected her to push me away as she froze under my touch but instead I felt her answering the kiss. She even pulling me closer. Few seconds later she bit my lip and not in a playful way.  
  
This reminded me of situation and made me retreat from the kiss. I still felt her lips on my. It felt like all my senses were coming back to me this moment. Her smell invaded my nose. Her furiously fuming caught my complete attention.  
  
“What are you doing, Haruna? Do you think you can just get back from…who knows where and do this?”  
Haruna… you never called me that. But wait… what is Yuko talking about.  
  
“What do you mean?” I questioned confused why I am the one who’s being blamed for something.  
  
“I’m talking about the fact that you have no right to do this to me again! You ran away from our wedding and what… now you found out that I’m getting married and decided to play more? I’m having none of it!” with unreasonable amount of strength Yuko pushed me through the door.  
  
Before Yuko smashed the doors into my face I noticed her eyes full of tears “I don’t need another break up letter from you!” with that I had to back out or the strength of the door would have broken my nose.  
  
I stood few more seconds trying to gather my thoughts and understand what Yuuchan was talking about. My Yuuchan who kissed with the same passion like before… my Yuuchan who cried when she saw me… I want to scream in frustration so someone…anyone would tell me what her words means! I have never written any letter to her…especially not a break up letter. What does it mean? Why instead of getting answers after coming her I got even more questions?  
  
From the last stare Yuuchan gave me I doubt she going to tell me anything. But I need to ask around…someone will know what all of this means.


	2. Chapter 2

**Part 2**

 

I met up with Micchan next morning because my curios friend wanted to know everything that happened the day before. I barely slept so my condition couldn’t be described as a good one. Still… I decided that there’s no point staying in bed and hiding from the reality of life.  
  
“I’m so confused… Yuuchan blamed me for everything from the second she laid her eyes on me…well no… at first she slammed the doors and I thought that she might just leave me hanging”.  
  
“And then?” Micchan seemed unusually calm about the situation. As if she was trying on purpose to control her usual vitality.  
  
“Well… we talked a bit… well no… I stole a kiss and then we walked a bit…”  
  
“You did WHAT?” yes, there is my friend. “Are you insane? You haven’t seen each other for six years and the first thing you do is steal a kiss? Are you retarded?”  
  
“Eh…it kind of happened I didn’t plan it, you know!” I pouted because of the scowl and added “also… don’t you want to hear the full situation… not just beginning of it?”  
  
Micchan eyed me as if I was really insane but nod encouraging me to continue. I told my best friend everything that happened in Yuko’s apartment and waited for some comments, even if she scowls at me again. Its better than that silence treatment that she’s now giving to me.  
  
Apparently I interpreted Micchan silence as a bad thing but the girl surprised me with a sudden comment “Maybe… I’m against it… but maybe you should try talk with Atsuko and Takamina…Atsuko might try to kill you but… there’s some hope that Takamina would tell you something if you convince her that you truly don’t know what is happening”  
  


* * *

  
  
I waited for a day knowing that Micchan arranged the meeting and drove to Atsuko and Minami home. I don’t know about their relationship status but if they are living together it must be serious. I knock on the doors nervously and let out a breath I have been keeping when Takamina was the one opening the doors.  
  
“Oh…hi”, she greeted me awkwardly while letting me in. I think I heard her whisper “I’m sorry if Acchan…” but she didn’t get a change to finish the sentence as Atsuko came from their kitchen.  
  
“You have already ruin a perfect morning… so just tell us what you want and leave. I hope you can fled the city like before”.  
  
I bit my lip unsure how to start the conversation but Takamina nod her head encouraging me. “I’m…I have met with Yuuchan few days ago…”  
  
Atsuko raised her hand while pointing in my direction accusingly “See! I told you… who else could leave Yuko such a mess! Of course it had to be you”, she added through greeted teeth and I had to step back a bit.  
  
I have always had somewhat decent relationship with Atsuko. We barely spend time together, I could probably count those times on my fingers and also all of them were with either Takamina or Yuko. Surprisingly these two weren’t even together back then.  
  
“I’m sorry if my appearance had some outcome but I’m as confused as Yuuchan herself… that’s the only reason why I came here. I know you lost contact with Micchan by that time so she can’t tell me anything but I need to find out what had happened”.  
  
“You left my best friend at the altar waiting for you. That’s what happened.”  
  
“Well yes…obviously I couldn’t come because of my…”  
  
I didn’t get to finish when unexpectedly Atsuko slapped me. “Really? You talk so freely about it? Just leave. Yuko is happy and she doesn’t need you anymore. If I have to see her as hurt as she has been back then…I will haunt you down”.  
  
Atsuko stopped her threatening stance when she heard microwave in the kitchen. “When I get back…I don’t want to see this one in my home”.  
  
She immediately turn around and walked out leaving me speechless. I turn to look at Takamina who scratched her head and smiled apologetically “I told Micchan that there is one way this conversation could have gone… but I also made a promise… she said that its literally the last thing she’s going to ask from me… so here”.  
  
Takamina extended her hand with a key in it. “Is that…what I think it is?”  
  
“I’m pretty sure Micchan has some sort of plan… I think its best if you discuss it with her”. Takamina looked at the direction of kitchen with a wonder “I think you should go…Atsuko might come back with a knife”  
  
I looked at the girl wide eyed. I knew that Acchan had a temper when it came to certain things so its better not to risk it. I took the key rushing to doors but still… I had to ask… to get a confirmation so I can either move on or maybe…fight for my one true love.  
  
“Is…she happy?”  
  
I should have asked Takamina earlier because she already rushed me out of the doors when Acchan came back to the room. Before closing the doors she looked at me wondering for a second and didn’t say anything but shook her head.  
  
I got an answer that made my heart flutter with hope… Yuuchan…I’m going to figure out what all of this means. This can’t be the end of our story.  
  


* * *

  
  
I had been back home for almost five days now. I had to visit my parents and Micchan force me to have a dinner with her and Mariko (as if I haven’t know the girl). Of course… I haven’t seen Mariko for a long time but I have always remembered how she ran away from my ‘crazy in love’ best friend.  
  
I think Mariko even moved to a different country running away from her stalker…but guess what, Micchan didn’t waste her time and moved right after her.   
  
Surprisingly all this creepiness payed off as finally Mariko agreed to go out with her and realized that she might as well fall for the girl.  
  
They have been together ever since, I knew this because Micchan called me telling all the details of their relationship. It creeps me out how much I knew but tried not to show it or Mariko might as well try to run away from my friend again.  
  
I met with few high school friends but no matter what I did… Yuuchan always stayed on my mind…and in my heart.  
  


* * *

  
  
Micchan told me that we need to be cautious and wait until Yuuchan leaves for work. She has also shared that crazy idea of breaking into her apartment and searching for that letter… letter that ruined everything.  
  
We could go to jail for that… but what else is there to do… Yuko haven’t tried to speak with me again, Atsuko would probably run me down with a car if I try to get in contact with Takamina again… and I’m definitely not going to meet Yuko’s parents again. They don’t care about my misery.  
  
We agreed that Micchan will be my look out spending time somewhere close to the apartment. She mentioned that there might be a chance that Yuko burn or thrown my letter away or maybe it doesn’t even exist and she just told me to mess with my head but I knew my Yuuchan too well…  
  
She wouldn’t have throw it away… she would have kept in and read it repeatedly trying to convince herself that what is written is the truth. I have just hoped that I can find her hiding place.  
  
The big day come and I was looking around the apartment. Micchan agreed to text me if she saw something suspicious and because we went quite early… I had hoped to end this mission successfully.  
  
Look at me acting like a child. But ask yourself… what would you do if your world turn upside down just like that.  
  
After an hour of aimless search and Micchan texting me out of boredom I was close to giving up but noticed Yuko’s perv section. I will let your imagination ruin wild what kind of things there were… would she leave it there? I had to check.  
  
YES! I was close to tearing off for finding that letter. As I guessed it has been used so many times that it even had been tear up around the corners.  _Dear_   _Yuuchan_ … was written down on the envelope.  
  
I was taken back a bit realizing that it definitely resembles my handwriting. Its not an exact match… but even I would have believed that these are my thoughts.   
  
Too much of a coincidence, if I might add.  
  
My hands were shaking but I couldn’t wait any longer. I looked inside to read everything that has been written. Unconsciously tears started falling down my cheeks.  
  


 

  
_Dear Yuuchan,_

_I have been thinking about this for so long… I couldn’t say when my doubts started… where they before you proposed to me or after…_

_But they always stayed in my head… torturing me…_

_Its all my fault, for waiting so long… for not expressing them out loud… for leading you on…_

_I’m choosing the worst possible moment to say this… but if not now…when?_

_I would only make it harder if I come today… I don’t want a scene where I burst into tears while standing next to you at the altar and ran out like in some drama…  
I also realize its unfair to you no matter what I do. Especially when you stayed by my side…fought for this love._

_Everyone around us kept telling you that at some point I gave in… you were so determined to make me yours… with your pervy comments and skin ship._

_You kept telling me how beautiful and special I am…and I guess… I just didn’t want to lose any of that. I got spoiled by your attention and hide my true feelings somewhere deep inside._

_I realize now… maybe I DO love you… but its not the same thing you feel for me._

_I’m so sorry Yuuchan! But you have time now… time to find the one for yourself! Your true love! Time to move on from an idiot like me!_

_I wish to see you happy… but its better for me to disappear… If I stayed near it would only hurt you more._

_This is a goodbye… please don’t hate me._

  
  
What the hell I have just read? It sounded like me… that’s the worst part. Not the point about our love…my love for Yuuchan… but everything else… gosh… everyone saw that I was freaking out and even expressed uncertainty about our wedding back then.  
  
What bride wouldn’t panic before her wedding, though? I need to think… there has to be a clue or something…  
  
I was about to read it again and torture myself even more if I haven’t heard familiar-confused voice “what…what are you doing here?” Yuuchan asked while unconscionably dropping down her keys.


	3. Chapter 3

**Part 3**

  
  
6 YEARS AGO  
  
  
“I’m on my way, Micchan… wait, that would work too. I will be there in just few minutes you can go and meet me in the street”, I ended conversation with my best friend while driving in a limo. Obviously in the backseat. Yes, Yuuchan wanted that I showed up to our wedding in a limo. She’s even more romantic that I am. I guess she’s responsible for all the romance in our relationship but I never complained as I can't be as brave and free with my feelings as she is.  
  
Yucchan knows that I’m a bit nervous about our marriage. We have been together for some time, actually a long time and she was the one who proposed to me. I remember it clearly… every detail of it. Having some time until reaching both Micchan and the Church I decided to look back at those memories.  
  
  
 _My taxi stopped and after paying the driver I step out of the car looking around curios until I noticed Yuuchan standing on the small white bridge. Obviously she waited for all this time (it took me about an hour to come here because of work distractions), so Yucchan eyes were on me the moment I stepped out of the vehicle._  
  
Yuuchan walked slowly in my direction when the driver left and we somehow met halfway. I smiled mischievously knowing that my best friend and my girlfriend planned something, just unsure what exactly that was. “I don’t see Micchan anywhere… she asked me to rush here”.  
  
Yuuchan laughed while commenting and explaining “I have performed a magic trick and made her disappear. So now you will have to spend time with me… as disappointing as it sounds”.  
  
I pretended to be annoyed but couldn’t stop the smile that appeared on my face. “I have never thought that Micchan could be such a good liar… she didn’t even flinch when I called her to ask about our meeting and apologizing that I will be running late”.  
  
Yucchan shrugged her shoulder while linking her arm with mine “well… I asked very politely for her help. Micchan just couldn’t tell me no”.  
  
“What did you promise her?”  
  
Yucchan raised her hands as if giving up but I can read her like an open book. Most likely it was something Mariko related as Micchan is seriously interested in that girl. Whenever we try talking about other topics it somehow still ends up with Mariko. Marichan bought a new car… yes, I also saw Marichan in that shop…and so on. I think you can imagine what I have in mind. We all have this kind of friend.  
  
We walked to the bridge and stood on it. Well actually Yuuchan stopped and turn around to face me “and there’s a reason why you’re here with me instead of your friend. I know you would prefer the later..hehehe… but…”  
  
I widened my eyes as a good theatrical actress (if I was one) “well I would have dressed better knowing that I’m meeting you. Your lost”.  
  
“I don’t care if you go around in pajamas with dinosaurs or puppies, or cats, or bunnies on it, I will still believe that it looks good on you.”  
  
I squinted my eyes but blushed a little which made me change a topic instantly. Until Yuuchan noticed it and didn’t use it as some sort of opportunity. “But it's really beautiful here. You love showing things like this to me…I should have guessed that no way Micchan would have invited me to see such scenery”, I added with ‘duh’ written on my forehead (figuratively speaking).  
  
Yuko seemed to miss out on comment about Micchan and instead took both of my hands in hers “well… it doesn’t matter how you get here. The most important part is that you’re here”.  
  
“Mmm… I feel like I have heard this many times before”.  
  
“Maybe that’s just expression I use… but this is important”, she added making serious face and for some reason letting go of my hands.  
  
“Are you going to break up with me?” I ended up asking without giving a chance for Yuuchan to speak up. Maybe I have panicked a little bit.  
  
“What? No. You wish”, she said jokingly which helped with the mood. Yuuchan looked really nervous now and I started wondering what might be the reason for it.   
  
Looking around and gathering her courage Yuuchan finally spoke up, not breaking eye contact with me “I’m not even sure how to describe how nervous I’m right now… I’m nervous both about my speech and about your reaction. Either way… I’m hoping for the best”.  
  
While Yuuchan talked it started raining slowly. “Okay… maybe the fact that weather changed so drastically is not such a good sigh” she added while biting her lip and looking down.  
  
For that reason I suggested simply “well…ehm… we can go in your car if you want… you drove here, right?” and I almost turn around to walk in that direction after actually noticing Yuko’s car but my girlfriend stopped me while grabbing me by the hand.  
  
“No…no… I better do this now. As long as I’m still…somehow brave…” Yuuchan breathed in more air while kneeling on the ground, taking black box from her pocket. “Kojima Haruna… you’re the girl I love. The girl I always dreamed about. Person I want to spend the rest of my life with. In good and bad. Whatever comes our way. Would you like to marry me and make me the happiest person on this planet?”  
  
Yuuchan asked the full question, considering the fact that I let her finish as a good sigh. It still rained around us, this time even harder, and Yuuchan waited for my answer with hopeful expression.  
  
I looked down a bit nervous, I don’t know if Yuuchan could have read my emotions that moment but obviously I had a lot of them. It didn’t take me long to answer ‘YES’ and hug her as tightly as I could. Yuuchan even complained that she couldn’t breathe.  
  
But the truth is that with that question she made me the happiest girl on this planet. I didn’t even need that wedding…I was already the happiest as it is.  
  
I think I got lost in the memories because that was the last thing I remembered. This scene kept on repeating in my mind while I was in coma. Contrary to the popular belief I didn’t really hear what my visitors told me. Instead I kept reliving it and was actually happy. I’m not sure if even wanted to wake up. Would you want to wake up from the most beautiful dream ever?  
  
  
Somehow I still did. Then Micchan told me about what happened. A truck hit my limo in front of her eyes. That’s why she didn’t manage to go to Church and stayed by my side instead. She only called Yuuchan's parent and didn’t even call to tell other friends of ours, too panicked about the whole situation.  
  
Micchan wanted to do it next day but Yuuchan wasn’t here anymore. She didn’t visit me even once though Micchan had talked with her parents and even asked them to BEG for her to show up and maybe then I would wake up sooner.  
  
Yuuchan even changed her phone number. I know this…because despite being angry and hurt after leaving the hospital I still tried to call her. Though almost a year passed with me in a coma.  
  
Surprisingly I never blamed Yuuchan. I was angry… but not as much as person would usually be. They would just turn around, move on, and never think of person that left them on their worse. I tried moving on… I have traveled a lot… but still thought about Yuuchan constantly.  
  
I didn’t manage to find another love. I tried but never hard enough…and it never actually turned into any sort of relationship that would be worth either mine or that person time. I felt like taking a break all these six years. Like the time actually stopped for me that moment when that truck hit that limo.  
  
But finding out that everything is not as it seems… that Yuuchan actually got a break up letter from someone who pretended to be me… I wasn’t sure what to think. But somehow… I had hope… Takamina shook her head when I asked if Yuko is actually happy. If she’s not… if this marriage is not going to make her happy… why can’t I try to at least find out the truth? Who and why they wrote that letter? Why I didn’t find the love of my love next to me when I woke up? So many questions and so little time to get all the answers…  
  
  


* * *

  
  
PRESENT TIME  
  
  
I was about to read that break up letter again and torture myself even more if I haven’t heard familiar-confused voice “what…what are you doing here?” Yuuchan asked while unconscionably dropping down her keys.  
  
Yuuchan squinted her eyes and seemed beyond angry. “What are you doing at my home? I’m calling the police if you’re not leaving in right now… and what…” she was going to ask what I have in my hand but I think she recognized the letter. “Why…why...do you have it?”  
  
I panicked a little bit. Unsure how I should feel right now. Sad? Angry? Happy that Yuuchan left with me with a reason? Which emotion would be normal in such situation? Also, why Micchan didn’t alarm me that Yuko is coming back home. That girl is probably hiding somewhere around the corner and talking with Mariko on the phone. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s literally the case.  
  
“I have it…because I have just heard of the existence of it from you few days ago… also I wanted to know what this is. Its the first time I’m seeing this…thing”, I added while looking shortly at the envelope with letter inside of it.  
  
Yuuchan raised her eyebrows shortly “wow…really? What do you really want, Haruna? Destroy my second wedding? Do I have some sort of curse that I just can’t get married or the world will end? I’m so tired of this…”, she commented and actually sigh. I could see that Yuuchan meant what she said. Also, my Yuuchan looked more tired than usual.  
  
“Why would I lie? Truly? Am I someone who just wants to hurt you and destroy your happiness?”  
  
“I don’t know. Are you?” once again, that tired tone, tired eyes but still some sparking anger behind them.  
  
With a surprise that Yuuchan actually thinks this way it took me some time to voice out my thoughts. Actually, some time to process and gather it as well.  
  
“I mean it, Haruna… I’m calling the police. How did you get in my home? I do have security… I’m so tired of…all of this…”  
  
“You do seem tired…”, I somehow ended saying without considering the outcome. Obviously Yuuchan will get mad at me because of it. She will think that I’m teasing her in some way. She’s already thinking the worse of me. But not hearing her comment or screams I added:  
  
“Call the police.”  
  
“Eh?”  
  
“I don’t care. Call the police. I won’t leave until we have a normal conversation… even if you’re really tired and want to sleep… if you fall asleep I can just sit here and wait until you wake up. I’m just as tired as you. Waking up in the hospital without you beside me…finding out that you left to see the world, the fact that you change your phone number and I couldn’t even call you to tell you that I’m finally awake…you know what… that was also the worse experience of my life. Worse than getting hit by a truck. So I’m tired as well. We’re talking this through”.  
  
“What…what?” I could see confusion written all over her face. Even if I wouldn’t believe Yuuchan’s sincerity this would prove it straight away. That’s the face of someone who really has no idea what you’re talking about and hears it for the very first time.  
  
“I hadn’t written this letter. Its impressive…I will give you that… I did have my doubts, haven’t I? It describes the situation quite well… ACTUALLY… there are certain parts which I only told your parents. As ironic as that sounds.”  
  
Yuuchan still let me talk just standing there and staring in front of her and I used this time to look back at the letter.  
  
“For example… I mentioned my doubts about our marriage to them… but also, pointed out that I haven’t talked with you about it. Just like this line:  _But they always stayed in my head… torturing me…I_  had also mentioned that its probably the worst possible moment to have these doubts as our wedding is just around the corner… Just like this line:  _I’m choosing the worst possible moment to say this… but if not now…when?_ ”  
  
“Stop”, I heard Yuuchan saying quietly but I was in too deep. I just needed to finish it. I felt that while voicing everything out… I will understand the situation as well.  
  
“I told them…that the reason I love you some much is because you always stayed by my side and fought for our love even when I was a coward. Exact replica is in this letter: _I also realize its unfair to you no matter what I do. Especially when you stayed by my side…fought for this love._ Your parents have witnessed both your pervert comments and skin ship which is also mentioned in the letter. Even the last point… about asking that you wouldn’t hate me. That’s what would I say! They read me like an open book, haven’t they? And you do realize that your parents always hated me, right?”  
  
Yucchan shook her head slightly. She looked a bit… distant.  
  
“Well…maybe you were the only one unaware of this fact. Everyone else knew this… I know that Acchan hates me now…but I’m pretty sure that even she can confirm this fact. Also, you can just pay someone to write such letter! They can even copy your handwriting! I don’t understand how everyone could have been so dense! Micchan hadn’t talked with Acchan and Takamina for years…I didn’t know about this stupid letter for so long… most of the things only making sense right now… don’t you get it? And why are you getting married in the first place? Because your parents want you to? for the company? for the future? Are you even happy…?”  
  
It made perfect sense in my mind: I got in an accident. Yuuchan’s parents find out about it first and used this opportunity. They had enough of money to fake it all. Who knows, maybe they even had a letter prepared just in case. They fooled both Yuuchan and me.  
  
“Haven’t you ever considered that maybe…?” I couldn’t finish my sentence. I think I was so concentrated on revealing the truth that finally made sense to me that I haven’t noticed Yuuchan’s expression.  
  
I managed to catch the girl at the last moment when she fainted. I noticed that something was off. She was too tired... to stressed...   
  
“Yuuchan?”


	4. Chapter 4

**Part 4**

  
  
Three days later I found myself in the hospital. Ironically that same hospital that I spend so much time in the past. Of course I happened to end up here for completely different reasons. This time it was Yuuchan related. She was exhausted and needed hospitalization, they even wondered what would have happened if I hadn’t been in her apartment when I was.  
  
Other part of her exhaustion was stress and I guess hearing everything what I have told here was the breaking point.  
  
Even with a lot of controversy as you can guess I mean Acchan who couldn’t trust me easily, I still managed to stay by Yuuchan’s side all this time. Luckily the girls agreed not to tell Yuko’s parents. At least for now, and hospital didn’t find it as a necessity knowing that there are people who care either way.  
  
I don’t know if I should mention that in these couple of days happened a lot things but I want to think that it did. As I had guessed before Micchan didn’t notice when Yuko get back because she was too engrossed in her conversation on the phone with Mariko. Maybe it all turn out better this way.  
  
Micchan used this way and finally had a serious conversation with both Takamina and Atsuko. I heard that it was really long and probably tiring. Micchan revealed the details of my coma and staying in the hospital meanwhile those two heard about all of it for the very first time.  
  
The density of people surprise me sometimes. I’m not saying that I’m any better in this situation but no one actually discussing anything for this long… the world is a strange and scary place.  
  
It’s a bit hard to change your mind overnight so Acchan still had a little bit of a problem with communication with me in a civilized manner. She still agreed to talk about the past and I realized that I should just give this girl some time. After all, she blamed me for all Yuuchan’s misfortunes fo all this time, she found me as the responsible person for everything and she even had a good relationship with Yuuchan’s parents.  
  
Either way, Acchan and Takamina told me about these years. Yuuchan took our ‘break up’ that didn’t even happened, really bad. She had depression for few years. She traveled whenever she could without staying in one place for long and just wanting to get lost. Sometimes she left her friends worried if she’s still actually alive or not.  
  
Few years ago she came back with controlled feelings and concentrated on the work. She could be called number one workaholic if there were some sort of categories. A lot of time she spend nights at work, simply getting lost in all of those papers rather than having to deal with people.  
  
She stopped believing in love that’s why even this whole arrangement to get married for the well being of her company and for the happiness of her parents didn’t sound like a bad idea.  
  
The Yuuchan that I remember would have never agreed to get married with someone whom she didn’t love.  
  
This help me realize that I wasn’t the only one who had it bad. Who was confused, hurt… all was left to do is talk with her… wait for Yuuchan to wake up…for as long as it takes… with hope that she believes me, with hope that she loves me the same way that I do love her, with hope that she still wants to be with, with hope that she will tell me that it’s not the end of our love.  
  
  


* * *

  
  
“Hello, yes, I do remember you. You were my patient back then, right? Well not mine… I was just a nurse… I’m a doctor now”, the girl smiled politely while keeping eye contact with me while we stood quite close to Yuuchan’s bed.  
  
I nod my head remembering her. She was there when I woke up. I looked down at her name tag, doctor Kashiwagi Yuki. Yes, the name sounds familiar.  
  
“Yes, you did take good care of me. Thank you for that… and for this… were you the one who agreed that we don’t need to call every single person Yuuchan knows, so its not necessary for her parents to show up?”  
  
“You’re grown ups, so yes, I don’t think that’s necessary. Also, it looks like she’s in good care. She should wake up soon enough”  
  
I nod my head feeling both thankful and nervous unsure what to say anymore… after doctor Kashiwagi left I sat down in my usual spot next to Yuuchan’s bed and looked at her sleeping face. So calm and peaceful… as beautiful as I remembered. Even more beautiful with years…  
  
Surprisingly, she opened her eyes pretty much at the same moment when doors were closed. At first looking at the ceiling and then slowly turning her eyes in my direction.  
  
I tried to form a smile. Apologetic one. I think it turn out to be a nervous one but that’s all I managed to do for the time meaning. “Hey…”, I whispered nervously while readjusting a strand of Yuko’s hair. “You’re up… do you… feel rested? At least… a bit…?”  
  
Yuuchan kept her gaze on me while I still couldn’t take my hand away. Having an opportunity to touch her skin even for a short while, I couldn’t stop myself for using this chance.  
  
“Water?”  
  
She cough and there is no surprise as she hadn’t spoken for three days just laying in bed. I felt a bit disappointed that I need to take my hand away, but of course I rushed to give her the water she asked for. I help Yuuchan out with drinking it and can see how her face looked more lively now.  
  
“You had to stay in a hospital for few days because you were exhausted and needed recovery… I know you’re not a fan of hospitals but… that was the only possible outcome in this situation”.  
  
Yuuchan nod her head slowly “you stayed…in here?” asking carefully.  
  
I gathered my thoughts realizing that she probably have heard my short interaction with doctor Kashiwagi so I nod my head with confirmation.  
  
“Not in this exact bed though… but yeah… I had to spend spend some time in here…”  
  
“That’s not some time… that’s a whole year…” Yuuchan commented sadly turning her eyes away from mine and staring at the ceiling. I wish I could read what she was thinking, I can only guess right now… but I want to know for real.  
  
“YUKO! I HAVE JUST HEARD ABOUT THIS!” I turn to look at the door as tall, dark haired guy ran inside with worry written all over his face. So that must be the…groom.  
  
He ignored my existence going straight to the love of my life “You got me so worried when I have heard about it”.  
  
Yuko looked at him smiling apologetically, and answering really quietly. I could barely make out the words she used “sorry… that really… didn’t include my plans…”  
  
All I could feel was jealousy. How long this guy stayed by her side when I was away? Does he mean anything to Yuko? What if all of a sudden she realized that she’s developing feelings for him and they are in a serious relationship… what if earlier Yuko got angry when I showed up because she actually wanted this wedding to happen… what if…  
  
“Excuse me… maybe you could leave us alone for at least couple of minutes?” he looked in my direction smiling politely. Like I’m some bug flying around and disturbing his love nest. Are you kidding me?  
  
I nod my head obediently “yes… of course”. Before leaving I looked at Yuuchan for one more time but she averted her eyes avoiding my gaze. Should I take this as a bad sign? I have no other choice just to walk out and wait outside. Not sure what I’m even waiting for…  
  
It would have been foolish to stand outside the door and try to listen of what they are talking about, that thought crossed my mind but I probably wouldn’t have even heard anything as Yuuchan’s bed was far away from the door and I doubt they intent to scream.  
  
I know Takamina told me that Yuuchan is not happy but what if she is…what if those six years that haven’t changed anything for me… that haven’t changed my feelings at all… not only scattered Yuuchan’s world but changed her dreams and hopes as well. Changed her love…  
  
I couldn’t stop myself from panicking. That’s all I did. I’m not sure how long those two even talked… did they agree to change the date of the wedding because of Yuko’s exhaustion? Did they confess to each other that they can’t live without one another? Did they… no… I don’t want to imagine anything else.  
  
Finally, probably after at least 10 minutes that guy (I don’t know his name because all Micchan told me was that it starts with H… something like Harry, Henry… walked out looking at me… well quite simply actually. No hate… no blame… maybe Yuuchan did chose him? Maybe he doesn’t even know about my existence and our past?  
  
“You can go back in”, that’s all he told me and walked away.  
  
Confused I walked inside trying to smile in the same manner likr before. I walked back to the same spot I stood before, staring back at Yuuchan who didn’t turn her eyes away as well.  
  
All of a sudden, I can see tears filling up in her eyes. Wait… no…  
  
I soon leaned in catching them with my fingers and spoke up with worry “no no…its okay… I understand… if you forget about me… if you don’t love me anymore… if all of this is too much… if it has been too long… I understand… I just… I want you to be happy you know…” I could feel myself tearing up as well. That’s what to expect in this situation I guess.  
  
I’m close to giving up my love… if I have to leave Tokyo again and never come back for the sake of you…my love… I will…now when I know everything that happened in the past…I just want to see you happy… even if the person who makes you happy is not me…  
  
“So it’s okay… you can ask me anything… I understand…I’m sorry if this disturbed you…changed your plans or…”  
  
“Y…you…should be angry”, Yuuchan commented surprised with tears still streaming down her beautiful face.  
  
“What? Why?”  
  
“I WASN’T HERE! YOU LAY IN A HOSPITAL BED AND I WASN’T THERE! YOU SHOULD HATE ME. HATE ME!”  
  
“Stop…now”, Yuuchan I don’t blame you for anything. Why are you blaming yourself?  
  
“I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN! I SHOULD HAVE GUESSED! Instead of getting hurt and running away… I should have search more… find Micchan and get a confirmation of that letter… I believed it so easily… HATE ME!”  
  
“I could never hate you… you’re the only one I love”, I whispered while leaning closer.  
  
Yuuchan also kept on whispering and repeating that I should hate her and because of that I captured her lips with mine.  
  
I put everything into this kiss. All the hurt, all the mistakes, all the stupidity that can be applied for both of us. Maybe that’s the last kiss I’m going to have… I need to give my all if that’s the case.  
  
We had to separate for air and Yuuchan spoke up again “I left him but…”  
  
“You did?” I instantly asked hopefully.  
  
“He can find another love, we only had an agreement… this wouldn’t have been real even if we got married… I let him search for the love he deserves… but…”  
  
“But…?”  
  
“I don’t deserve you…”  
  
I laughed with relief, I couldn’t just stop myself. Even with both of us crying like kindergarten kids, all of a sudden I see my future, a lot brighter.  
  
“I love you you… do you still love me? That’s all that I care about…”  
  
“Of course I do, Nyan-Nyan! But…”  
  
Nyan-Nyan… she’s not calling me Haruna anymore. I’m hearing the nickname that annoyed me sometimes in the past but from Yuuchan’s lips it’s like the biggest confirmation of her love.  
  
I didn’t let her finish and kissed Yuuchan again with passion. Even disturbed with her own thoughts she answered my kisses putting even more pressure into them.  
  
Between those kisses as we missed each other lips so much I commented truthfully “we will figure all of this out… just tell me that you want to be with me…  **just tell me it’s not the end** and we will figure absolutely everything out…with time… with patient… with everything… I love you, Yuuchan… you know… I still have that proposal ring”.  
  
Yuuchan looked at me with pure love and surprise. “You…do?”  
  
To prove my point I take it out from my purse. All these years I kept in by my side. Not on my finger but somewhere close by…  
  
“Should I put it back on or…?”  
  
“No…”  
  
“No?”  
  
“No… you should give it back to me…”  
  
“Wait…why?”  
  
Yuuchan put her hand in front of herself smiling shortly. Still hurt but at the same time I can see sparks in her eyes. “I might give it back to you some time in the future so…”  
  
I didn’t realize I have held my breath for few seconds thinking that Yuuchan wants to end everything with me for good.  
  
“What no… its mine forever… you made your choice… learn to live with it”, I showed her my tongue playfully but then noticed that even though she laughed she still seemed worried. “Am… what are going to do…with your parents and…”  
  
“You know I won’t leave them behind… they gave birth to me…they do love me… even in such manner…but maybe we can punish them a little… spending Christmas and New Year with friends… visiting them rarely in comparison with the past… though…well most likely… just spending Christmas with our friends instead of my parents…”  
  
I laughed with relief and stole one more kiss from Yuuchan. I don’t know since when I became such a kissing monster but I just can’t help myself or control it anymore. “I love this idea very much…”  
  
I hold her face with both of my hands inches away from her eyes, her lips, her nose… my Yuuchan… “I’m so happy right now…but you still haven’t answered…”  
  
Knowing what I want to hear Yuuchan ended my thought “ **It’s not the End. It’s just a new beginning for both of us. Together.** ”  
  
  
THE END


End file.
